Divorce in European Nations

I am, admittedly, American. Therefore, my views on Divorce (big D) are based on my observations of other Americans and the American institutions of marriage and divorce.

On my recent trip to France, Scotland, Italy and Spain, I didn't have the opportunity to observe couples tackling the arduous project of dismantling "couple-hood" and marriage. However, I did have the opportunity to witness something that made these European nations immediately distinct from America. That something different just happens to be the rasion d'etre for MyDivorceShower.com (tm), and the necessary component in surviving a divorce. That something is Community.

On my travels, I was amazed by the Plazas, Piazzales, Parks, and open air meeting places. These places were all bustling with activity. People weren't in their homes, they were out with friends, on the steps of the Sacre Coeur in Montmarte, the Spanish Steps in Rome, Piazzale Michelangelo in Florence, Rialto Park in Madrid and Saint Mark's Square in Venice. It wasn't that a few random people were hanging out, it was that these places (no matter what time of day or night) were packed with groups of friends.

I talked to a friend, born and raised in Madrid, about this phenomenon. She explained that the sense of community is very different in these European countries, but also the homes and apartments tend to be smaller (less toasters maybe :-) and hence people enjoying gathering in larger groups in public squares. This obvious difference of creating a space for community in our lives was astounding to me.

As it relates to the topic of divorce, I believe that a sense of community and cultivating friendships is the essential ingredient to overcoming a divorce or any loss. That is why I believe divorce showers are a great idea, to bring a community together to help someone who is going through a difficult time. Too bad we can't have them in the streets!

I'd love to hear more about community from anyone!

Reality Table for One - Check Please

Time out. Time out. I'm making the T sign with my hands! I just can't write more about divorce today and getting therapy for going through divorce. I can try to do it tomorrow, but I simply can't do it today. Why? Because it is going to make me crazy. I am starting a site that will be a forum to throw a divorce shower for anyone going through divorce - that alone will be therapy. And, so here I am attempting to discuss what divorce is like, how therapy was, what I needed, what I didn't, but here's a little insight into my personal life . . . writing it, is like living it all over again. And so today, I need a break (see this is that self-care I was jabbering about). Today, I'm going to take a nap with my dogs, hug the puppy and get some much needed rest. Maybe then I'll go pick up dog poop in the yard, before I go to work.

I went for a bike ride with my dear friend, Abby, today. We talked about learning life lessons, about the process of attempting to teach life knowledge and came to the conclusion that we wish we possessed some kind of E.T. touch that would just, like, fax the information from E.T. finger to weak human brain. God, life would be so much easier, if we could only impart knowledge this way.

In life, there is so much to learn, so much to do. You could never do it all or see it all, or make all the right choices. You can never get it all done. Nothing will ever be perfect. No-one could learn it all in one full life time. This left me reaching up to the sky, shaking my fists, and yelling "What is it all about?" While, Abby checked over her shoulders to see who in the crowded soccer park was staring at us.

And all that not knowing what it is all about, goes for this blog today. I don't know what this is all about. I only know that it's about a process of learning and lessons and that we call it life.